Thursday, April 9, 2009

Prayer Eludes Me....

So, the passage at the bottom of this post was stolen from my dear friend and mentor, Cheryl Fletcher's blog. Cheryl is one of my heros in life. I met her my freshman year in college, she was the college womens ministry director at EV Free, the church I attended at UT. About 15 years ago she started a huge outreach to sororities at UT. At the time, I am sure she didn't know it would be the begining of generations of womens bible studies within the greek houses at The University of Texas. I was (sorry mom, AM!) a Theta, and she had started bible studies within the Theta house about 5 or 6 years before I got there. She discipled Kathryn Livesay, who was a jr. when I was a freshman....and Kathryn was the bible study leader for about 6 or 7 pledges (myself included), 4 of those pledges are some of my nearest and dearest friends to this day.

People up here in DC, can't beleive that I say the reason I was able to keep and grow my faith in the Lord in college was bc of a bible study that I got involved with through my SORORITY. Thats right, God does amazing things....and he just was not letting me get away during that hard season (my parent's finalized their divorce August before my freshman year of college....needless to say, I was a little "angry" with God as I entered my freshman year).

One of the things that I love to look back on and think about, is how the Lord has truly provided me with Amazing, Godly, Loving, Challenging, Wonderful women to look up to and learn from throughout my life. Starting with my mom who has a deep knowledge of scripture and understanding of God's word and my grandmother, who is kind and generous and loving, to the mom's of my best friends in elementary (and now!) Karen Debenport and Beverly Marr....Brenda, Nicole and I were at each others houses a lot and surrounded by these loving, Christian women. Then in Jr. High and High School, I had the GREAT blessing of the coolest Young Life leader ever, Missy Thomas Richardson...moving away to other parts of the country, I realize how unique it was that Missy was my YL leader from 7th grade all the way through my senior year. She discipled a group of about 15-20 girls all seeking to know Christ more, while balancing the temptations and struggles of high school. We were so lucky to have Missy.

Other women who have meant so much to me are: Kim Galindo, who has known me my whole life and counseled me through some really hard times, Cheryl Fletcher, Meg Lowry Sack and Kathryn Livesay in college, Tootie Kuhn, Amy Hartman and Janee Sedmak as I moved to DC, and of course, my dear mother in law Karen. All women who have led by example, taken time to hear, listen and know me, and spoken wise words into my life. I believe the Lord has truly shaped me through the Godly women he has put in my life, and I am thankful....

I grew in my own faith and knowledge of scripture so much in college, they were, at the same time, some of the best and hardest years of my life. Cheryl was a huge part of my faith growth. She works for a church in CA now, and is becoming a little celebrity as she continues her speaking engagements and conferences around the country. I believe she should really write a book one day, the Lord has given her a gift in relating to people and relaying His word in honest, approachable, and teachable ways.

From Cheryl...

Prayer Eludes Me.

7 04 2009, Cheryl Fletcher

[Matthew 14:22-25; Mark 1:32-35]

Prayer often eludes me. So it fascinates me when I trip over accounts of Jesus - the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-in-control, all-God - praying.

Here’s what I saw this morning: Jesus dismisses the crowd and heads off to pray. Unlike Jesus, I dismiss my prayers and move on to the crowd. I am drawn to the crowd – to the activity and the buzz. Crowds (whether large or small) hold an unspoken and often unconscious hope for an experience of significance.

But, here is Jesus…praying. He gets up in the morning and goes to a “lonely spot” and he lingers in prayer. The translator calls it a “lonely spot” and I wonder if it was lonely to him? Or was it actually the least lonely place of his earthly existence?

When Jesus prays he’s re-convening with the Father and the Spirit. He’s bantering with those he’s known and been known by for all eternity. He’s dancing with those he’s danced with since before meadows and waterfalls and oceans and Alps. He’s with the One who finishes his sentences and anticipates his concerns.

Jesus went to the lonely spot to pull away from the loneliness. And certainly his life was marked with loneliness. How lonely to enter another world - that is really your world – and not be recognized. How lonely to know that you will never be fully known by your closest companions. How lonely to extend love with no guarantee of its return. How lonely to be misunderstood, misread, misinterpreted and just simply, missed.

I run to people hoping to be known, affirmed, pursued, explained, satisfied and not alone. But, Jesus leaves all those people to be in the one posture where he is most fully known.

Jesus goes to prayer to be with. In prayer he is with the One who knows. In prayer there is no convincing or justifying or explaining or performing. To pray to the Father is to be known by the all-knowing. It’s to be loved by love. It’s to be heard by the non-interrupting, always-attentive, forever-patient King.

I think Jesus knew something about crowds – that to be with them he needed time away from them. After meeting with the Father and the Spirit, the crowd becomes an object of love, a source of delight, a gift from the Giver or simply just a crowd and nothing more.

Why do we pray if God already knows? Why does God pray? Perhaps it’s more about being known than about knowing. For Jesus I imagine it was the most familiar place for him to be – he’d been doing this for all eternity. But, Jesus wasn’t only 100% God, he was also 100% man, and he needed guidance - just like I do. And he needed to worship - just like I do. And he needed to unload all that was on his heart – just like I do. And he needed to listen to the voice of the Father and the Spirit whispering about love and grace and truth and beauty – just like I do. He needed to go to the lonely place that was anything but lonely – just like I do.

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